Insipid

gOING to a place of GOD, that church,
mine the group charasmatic
praying the rosary, to say it over and over and
the youth
to move to mobilize for the betterment of society,
to volunteer or for the Lord,
but for me there is no fear,
of Him

He says that he promises all of this if we follow his commandments and have no other gods
before,
him,
but what if I feel that it is all inspid
empty at times for me

even though
I was dancing today,
at the 70s disco night
theme
of the highlands church,
with the youth dancing
finger in the air pointing
hips swillening,
the bodies of teenagers and kids
working,
rippling rapidly to articulate those shoulders,
legs, feet
the little Michael
copies the one now late,
so well
and I am there, in my
bootleg jeans
given to me by the youth group
a girl named joy
took her time
painstaiking
to widen them
and sow sea blue material onto them

I danced on staged,
and infront of it,
at the periphery
and in the audience,
but now , I feel
so,,,,,,
insipid,
what does this christianity mean to me >
the closer I approach,
since friday youth meeting
to the charasmatic meeting today
and then dance event I just came from
three events,
like the creation, salvation and eventual comming again
like Him, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
what is this three,
really to me?

The group DCJ (Disciples of Christ Jesus)
danced
and they flip and leapt,
with joy
the church being an institution that permits
their creativity
and expression of physicality
and trip to our rosy pink church,
in the green, clean suburbs,
a long throw away from where they live
is that all it is ?
A boy from that group, a dancer of about 9, told us on stage, through the mike,
"I love going to church":
so he does , I would too.
So is Church no more than a vehicle for creativity, social change, demagogues and transformation
the christian life is about that
transformation,
and I need to transform out of it,
in order to be fully christian (
do you get me, are we together on this one)

No matter, what
whether I am wrong
or whether the weather is rough,
I cannot fully say
I belong
to the Church,
so does leave me in a Lurch?
Cause I say Jesus belongs to me!
But every day, every hour, its just him
saying "me me me"
No I want to be free.