12 January 2012. Today I started a new exercise regime, for my leg. For my knee. In the afternoon: hamstring lifting of 10 lbs on ankles as I stand and look and pray, some people count I pray the rosary, and I do one decade then a break and the a another decade. I do this to keep myself positive. Yes I could have started earlier before the pain in my knee cap started during the bending, before I felt weakness I my hamstrings, I could have taken a Pilates band with me for home and made sure I did here in this apartment in Sofia Bulgaria, I certainly could have done that but I did not. And In case you did not know, I should have done this because my physiotherapist back home in Namibia taught me some lifting exercises to do and I did them and then stopped when I felt fine, when I felt strong.
now I see the month is half full and there is still hope and by God's grace I will make it. Afterwards I lie on my back and with a scarf I pull and raise my leg to stretch the hamstring. I keep that hollow in between my back and the floor as wide as possible, just like Rebecca taught me in her class. Even if this means my leg is not yet 90 to the floor, I am grateful for being able to raise it and for life and I pray another decade. And then Ivam done and unroll up my yoga matt. Then I tap my diary entry in this here phone.
In the morning I plan to do: leg lifts, two decades followed by standing hamstring stretch.
13 January
Woke up a little later than usual this morning. did my leg lifts for both quads and hamstrings and a quick sitting half forward fold on the injured leg. After lunch worked on the hamstring lifts and stretched. Did warrior 2 on both sides. I noticed I have a little pain in the injured, left knee when I activate the muscles and stretch them in the warrior pose.overall my progress is good, I can bend and walk without any pain. The 10 1b weights are ok, though I feel pain if I try and straighten all the way when lifting seated.
16 January
I did do my exercises yesterday morning as this morning though I did not post a diary entry. Since yesterday I am doing the leg lifts do quads and hamstrings in the mor ing with some yoga, followed by smooth tai chi with my grandfather. Amazing there is absolutely no pain left in my. Leg even when I activate it in the warrior 2 pose which is the same feeling as in the tendu. I should keep on doing these exercises however - stopping. Or it may lead to deterioration later on. I nonetheless feel the left leg to be a bit shaky when I do my Tai Chi prayer wheel right after the lifting - likely to be muscle fatigue. I do want to give both legs attention so this afternoon I did the warrior 2 and the "Indian triangle" according to Andy Chen, whereby one brigs the torso to the bent leg in warrior 2 and the twist and stretches the arm over.
I am excited because on Wednesday I am watching contemporary dance works here I Sofia. One of the is titled "Baredback" in English, not in Bulgarian, so I wonder what it is about, does it have anything to do with two men going at it without a condom? Does it have anything to do with HIV?
We will have to see.
18 January
I just came back from the performances of works at the concert of Arabesque. The company performed works of the contestants of the Margarita Arnaduova contemporary choreography.
19 January 2012
Bareback was truly fascinating cutting across themes of sex work and masochism as well as race in what I felt was a Balkan context. Stay tuned for more on this and other pieces I saw.
This morning I did my yoga poses, plank and triangle and warrior 2. I do notice some pain when I bend the injured leg when in the plank. I suspect it is because I have not been the exercises for the "end range " of my leg bending: when I left in a seated position I work the large range and hen extend fully I also work the end range, that the las few degrees that the leg moves through to straighten. forgive the detail but I believe it is important. Now I am doing the end range exercises as well .
It becomes increasingly difficult to stick to this exercise regime. I either have to wake up earlier so I can do both yoga on both sides of my body and the the quad and hamstring exercise for my left injured leg or I should do the yoga in the morning and the lifting in the adternoon, like I did today. I think that may work.
The fact that met the choreographer of "Bareback" , Alexander Georgiev , who is my age, was also really exciting. I said I would blog about the piece but I did not specify when,anyway perhaps I feel like I should put everything else aside and just write. But I am not at Princeton, I am visiting my grandparents here in Bulgaria and there are other things to do do and watch and learn ( cooking). And I also made contact with a professor at the London School of Hygiene. I would like to apply.
So may I please give myself the permission to save what I experienced last night? Saving performance, feelings and interpretations. Saved.
21 January
Yesterday i did not write in the diary and I did not do the exercises with the ankle weights either! In the morning I did more yoga and in the afternoon we went to my grandparents holiday villa in the nearby Hilda of Bankia . I did do quite a bit of shoveling.when we got back it was past the usual time I do my exercises and so I just did not do them. It seems quite easy to skip once you miss the regular time. And then there was me falling in love, writing a love email to a Spanish boy who does not dance the same dance as I do, even I think he does. Perhaps I should have just have written to him " I do believe we are practicing the same religion..." from George Michaels fast love. I meet him randomly after mass and we went for coffee ( I asked and he accepted).
Today I woke up at about the usual time and I unrolled my yoga matt did some forward bends and realized I should do the lifting of the weights since I missed a day. And boy did I feel it! for the first few lifts when seated, it was sore when I tried to fully straighten, but after indie a couple the leg muscles and knee was warm so there was nearly no pain in the knee cap. My physiotherapist Ronalda Duarte told me that I hurts cause when straight the tendon is flushed against the knee cap and I still an fully healed. But the car accident Was months ago on September 3 2011, can I still be hurt? Well she warned me that the knee will be vulnerable to repeated injury and perhaps I hurt it between now and then, or my muscles where not strong enough.
The stretches I do now are more forward holds from yoga , on each leg and forward lunges that get psoas muscles and quads.
Tomorrow will be better
22 January
I did my exercises today both of them. It is interesting how I actually sought refuge in my yoga today and I did these exercises in spite of everything. My grandparents drug end during the night and my grandfather had a hysteric episode in the morning. He is fine now and has come alright he regrets what happens and he hopes to take care more of himself rather than just his teenage grand kids.
He said will take more walks outside, start reading again and a get a social life.
In spite of this all I am still up now at 1:40 pm. In spite of all this forgot to tell him one thing: he tore up the evaluation given by the first aid people this afternoon, claiming it was part of a plot to put him in the mental hospital.He could not see then he had a problem and he accused those closest to him: my grandmother and I of plotting in a sense. That I forgot to say because it was painful , to see, I glued together the torn pieces and made 7 copies. My grandmother and cousin will keep some and they need to show it to their doctor. I will take my copies and show it to my mother. And I have that wretches original. I pray I can sleep now.
24 January
Today was a much more eventful day. I did my exercises in the morning, the lifts and then stretches. We went to Slaveykov brothers square withy grandfather and we talked about what happened and depression and health and the visit of ambulance service the EMT man yesterday did not matter so much. In any case
I am going to write about the things that matter that I am grateful for:
When my grandfather looked at me and said "philosopher" after I complimented him on figuring out how I balance a suitcase on scale meant for people: use a light rolled up plastic as support.
A baby at the bu stop today that was grabbing at my back actually in Bulgarian say it best бебето се закачасе с мене у на края кат се качих и му казах чао и то отговорило.
The baby said ciao a I said so as I got on the bus. Che carino!
So I guess this diary is about healing. I feel quite healed and my leg feels strong, though still a little bit of the after tingles left of pain here and there. Good night.
26 January 2012
I am sitting on an underground train next to my sister and it seems like I have been here before. My knee feels good considering I have not done any of the lifting exercises since two days ago. I do feel something like a ripple of pain now and then when I go down the stairs. Which remind me, I need to get my Pilates band. I left my ankle weights with my grandmother in Sofia and my yoga mat. Her current exercise regime does not include weights but I can't take them in my suitcase anyway.
26 January 2012
So today is the day I am going to go to LSHTM and talk to the professor. Of course I am a bit nervous but that is ok. I am up and reading about Math , stats, get my mind ready. I also know I cannot influence the past, how much I should have studied , I am only in the present. Now I have faith that this year the third one after graduation will even bear more fruit for me to study. I need to quietly begin my exercises too, for the body, today I will get a Pilates band , for now I will do yoga and tai chi. Che bella vita, tutto resta davanti a me e con l'amore di Dio ce la farò. (how beautiful a life this is! Everything lies before me and with the help of and love of God I will be able do it!)
Exercises:
Staff pose
Cobbler
Balance on butt
Knee bend and straighten 30 each side
Triangle
Tai Chi: series of temple exercises
Dr Nitsch gave me a tour of the school, very post post modern with a large lecture hall in a sun shapes auditorium. We talked to one of the students an she encouraged me to apply and articulate my reasons for applying right now at this point in my life. I did not give a run down of what I believe to be my mediocre math grades. I raised in the tube , while u looked at handsome man who looked rather worried and disorientated , I wonder if he was somewhat retarded. It dawned on me that Ives gong to apply anyway, Dr Nitsch said they looked for students who could do the course at this time in their careers. She reiterated they were not looking for the necessary brightest but those who wanted to do it and needed to. I am applying , inspire of the unknown probability of me getting a World Bank scholarship. So this is London and this is life. I loved the Sabbath dinner o sorts I had with my sister here, we had salmon and sweet potatoes and asparagus with mushrooms. She only had a taste of my creamy broccoli sauce.
Then there was the Pilates band. The bands I got today where so so, I can use them to standing lifts that work my hamstrings, but I need patience to do them well. Everything requires patience I guess. No it does.
Time to sleep.
Shabbat shalom.
28 January 2012
I am still in London. I leave on Monday. I think tomorrow night will be my last entry. After which I have to edit this blog as many of the sentences are wrong due to the fact I wrote this on the iPhone , all of it. Hey the photo of Martha Graham title "Think Different" still hangs in Hagan dance studio, and it is by apple, so using the iPhone is appropriate.
An update on my left knee that I was injured. Somehow it still feels weird and slightly sore when I activate the knee muscles . And there is that feeling of the knee cap clicking or locking in when I fully straighten. In terms of exercises, I used the pilates band to do bend my knee while standing and using the band as resistance. I feel the hamstring working and then I do it on the other knee, the one that was not traumatized last September during that car accident that we survived.
I watches for the first time ever the recording of the Hagan studio performance of "George's possession " that Alexis and I made in 2008. And too think I even for a minute regretted having taken dance that last fall semester! My math mark was unlikely to have been better, I would have probably lost it cause I needed to create, to move. I only watched this DVD now since my sister wanted to and she had never seen it. I wonder if Alexis is studying physiotherapy now? God knows we need more physiotherapists, thank God mine lives in my neighborhood.
Pancho
