Holy Saturday 2013

Here I sit and write this as I wait for my shoushi at th
Falling in love with Jesus
Enamorarse de Jesúcristo
Tomorrow is easter in the Catholic Church.
I truly believe I will have to write about how I feel now. How do I feel about Jesus Christ? Do I still believe the only acceptable sexual fantasy is being with Him? I had a conversation about this already years in 2007ago with my friend Zach Marr and it seems he said he also agreed with me. Somehow last night i ended up bringing myself from 0 to 60 in just under a minute after I read through the EXIT a gay man's newspaper and it is not much different to the FHM for straight men and the feeling afterwards. I had my pink rosary in one hand ( and touching my body with the other) and somewhat desperately I asked the Lord to help me to stop, my heart was racing and then the point of no return. The guilt , the feeling of guilt and then the forgiveness that came after In read Psalm 32. I am grateful for the privilege of having this tension in my faith, this is indication that my basic essential needs are met and so I can dedicate mental energy to this process of spiritual self discovery.


Pancho