Home stories series 1

Is it necessary that I make my mother upset? I woke up at 7:30am, after having gone back to sleep at 06:30 am when we spoke to my grandparents in Bulgaria over the phone.

I went to the kitchen to find my mother ready after just staying a bit in my room and thinking about what I dreamt, about graduation and giving away the food that was not eaten by us at the reception here in Klein Windhoek, instead of at Princeton – merging of times and realities in my dream.

After I began making the sandwich, she really wanted me to hurry and so shouted at me
“ po burzai, phlegma takava!” (hurry up you phlegmatic one!)

Then shouts and outburst that followed included “ oh your are a soiled seed, soiled seed, you get this from your father.” And “ please God, return to him, let everything he did to humiliate me come back to him, God will Punish him, God will Punish him, God will Punish him!” came the words from her stern face.

Before this, I could have just hurried up and kept quiet, but I opened my mouth and out came provocations “Well don’t worry, relax, chill, I will make it now, you are still making coffee are you not?” She was, as she moved from the kettle to the sink from the sink to where I was at the table. I added “why do you wish bad for someone, that is not good.”

“I am not wishing bad!” she exclaimed, “that everything he did to me to come back to him, and that he will be humiliated how by his kurvas (hores) the way he humiliated me.”

So why did I have open my mouth. Before all of this, I could have remained silent and obedient, then perhaps when I was busy smearing that peanut butter on her bread she would not have said “you don’t honor your mother”.

When she left, she was upset and in tears, I was rushing behind her to give her the plastic back with her bread. Peggy our family friend, was taking her to work. And they drove off. Me in the kitchen, with the scene of the dirtly plate, the breadnife and the butter and peanut butter on the table. The dishes dirty from lasts night’s birthday dinner party for my brother.